Fate behind the fear
by Laughing Siren
Summary: Why is Minerva so fearful of Voldemort Why is Albus so sad? this is a story of the order to find out what has tormented minerva for years. In the end nothing can ever be the same
1. Default Chapter

(Hi I do not own anything nothing and nothing it is all owned by J.K Rowling, This is a fic set in the order of the phoenix at Grimmauld Place, main character is Minerva.)  
  
A troubled order sat in the darkened room accompanied by the Weasley children, Hermione and Harry. They had demanded to listen to one meeting and hear it was.  
  
"Minerva." The soft voice of Albus Dumbledore close to whispered her name. "You knew him better then any of us; please we need to know him his weakness please Minerva please."  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
"Please don't make me."  
  
"Minerva we need to know what happened all we now is what the news papers said, we need to know him, Voldemort and Tom Riddle."  
  
She sighed she looked up at him, "Take a seat then this will take a while."  
  
"I went to school with Tom 22 years ago."  
  
(A/n I know it was about 50 but I just can't picture McGonagall that old I see her as about 40's in human form, even if she is older then that as she is a witch and the life span may be different.)  
  
"He was older then me only a few months but still older at first we didn't really know each other our houses did that, but in my 4th year the girls in my house started to look his way he was . hansom. Oh yes very he could have had any girl at his side even the teachers looked at him like that.  
  
He had a lot of charm to much if you asked me, I didn't like him he was slimy and sly. I didn't show any interest my class mates called me crazy said the Scot's are mad that hurt they always said things like that; my accent was strong back then. He came to me I was sitting at a large tree by the lake he came and sat next to me.  
  
I didn't notice at first like all ways I was absorbed into a book, he pulled the book away from me and he just stared at me so innocently yet it hurt. I felt like he was looking straight through me."  
  
(Flashback)  
  
The young man stared at her intently, "My god Minerva you're beautiful."  
  
The young girl blushed, "Tom go away I said I'm not interested."  
  
"Minerva all I want you to do is come to the ball with me nothing else just dance one dance with me then you can leave." His eyes those deep green eyes boring into her misty grey one's. "Why can't you just drop it Riddle I'm not interested."  
  
"I can't drop it my dear your to beautiful,"  
  
"I'm not tom please leave me alone." "But you are beautiful the way you walk the way you talk the way you tie your long silky hair up to keep it out of your eyes, your power is beautiful you have so much power."  
  
He brought his hand up to her cheek, she didn't pull back. "So powerful with so much hate, you do have hate Minerva you hate them all don't you, the way your fellow student's mock you the way your teachers look at you like old pervert's you hate them all don't you? You want revenge I will give it to you Minerva. I'm drawn to you your beauty your intelligence an Amigos at the age of 13 no one has every done that I can't let you go with out just one dance."  
  
He had manipulated her like so many others before.  
  
"Ok just one dance."  
  
(End of flash back)  
  
"But one dance turned into another that soon turned into a peck on the cheek by the end of the night we where sharing saliva." She said this as if the thought of kissing him disgusted her in truth it did.  
  
"He was a very eager young man to eager we became an item as you could say, sharing kisses at dawn talking all night, how he loved to talk about his mother, he didn't talk about his father. He wanted to be an author to write books about him self about life about me. He liked to listen to he always listened to me to my problems he always helped he made me feel safe and warm. I fell in love with him and I think he did me. He was. my first I wasn't really interested when he first came up with the idea to maybe try and express our love in other ways then just kisses and tedious touches, but he convinced me he made love to me as he liked to call it, the way he touched me it just. I don't know I think I scared me but it excited me."  
  
The faces on the order caught Minerva's attention as most of them fidgeted in there seats. They where uncomfortable with what they heard.  
  
"Do you want me to stop?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Then the time came when we where to leave school it broke me to have us part, but we made a vow to stay in love to be together. I hadn't known that it was Tom that opened the chamber of secrets but somewhere deep inside me I suspected him. He came to me he offered me to be with him always to get my revenge on all those people to make my power not waste it as he said I was doing.  
  
He manipulated me but partly I wanted to join his dark force. I new it was dark I knew he had changed for worse but I couldn't admit it no not my Tom. I joined him I became his queen I saw him commit al those crimes how many people he killed how many screams haunted me dreams. This one little girl she was dragged from her mother in front of me she looked at me as if to say please you can stop this then she was killed.  
  
He got me to kill people as well I didn't want to but I did, the man was blind almost he didn't see me when I cut his throat his blood on my hand's. it scared me but Tom he just kissed me and said he's gone Minerva to a better place my love. Things changed after that Tom, he forgot the words I love you he changed his name Voldemort he ordered me to call him that we did not make love after that it was just sex.  
  
The people the things they said about me it disgusted me, Voldemort's sex slave, his evil queen murderer, and liar. They where right I was those things, I was the death angel as they liked to call me. But I thought to myself is my relationship with Voldemort just sex or does he still love me like I love him. That night when he came back to our room he sat in front of me he started to kiss me senselessly as he began to undress me.  
  
He did that every night every night we had sex, it was always different through when he was in a good mood he treated me so softly, like I was a flower like he did love me like old days but then when he was in a bad mood." She shuddered. "I still have to bruises on my legs and arms he held me too tightly like, I would try and escape him.  
  
So that night I stopped him as he got my top of I asked him if we could talk for awhile instead. He sighed and said ok we talked like old times, like we did at school but then he started to undress me again I told to him stop he just looked at me he put his hand to my face he kissed me he told me how powerful I was and how beautiful then he hit me.  
  
I went sprawling over the bed. That was when it came to me his love for me had gone when he changed his name to Voldemort. Tom disappeared as did the love he had for me. He pinned me down I tried so hard to fight him I really did I hurt him, scratches cuts but then he undressed me again. I begged him to stop I sounded like one of the people he had killed. I was scared he, he . raped me."  
  
Albus's face turned deathly pale. "He what" "He raped me Albus." He suddenly started to shake with anger. "You never told me!" "I haven't told you a lot about my past Albus." "Then tell me now carry on with your story."  
  
(So what do you think carry on or forget this fic every happened. I don't think I made this very clear but Albus and Minerva are in a relationship together, this chapter was mostly scene setting if you like this please tell me. Also if you have any spare time on your hands give my other fics a read there better then this, thank you for taking the time to read a girl's pitiful attempt for a story ;) ) 


	2. pain and sorrow of life

(A/n again I don't own anything. Thank you to my nice little reviewers)  
  
"Of course once our dear old Voldie had his go. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle wanted a go. they got it."  
  
There was a small glint in the corner of her poor tortured soul, it was hate. She had fallen into the vast abyss of darkness long ago, only to be re-born in to light. Out of the shadows. She kept her demons through.  
  
"They left laughing to each over, the things they said to me will not be repeated in this room."  
  
Minerva was pale she had always been pale, but know she was white. Like someone who had been locked away from light for years.  
  
"I went to the balcony tortured, demented." She pulled up her sleeves and the members of the order gasped at the deep scars just below her fore-arm. "Only suicide on my mind. I jumped how I survived I'll never know. I woke up on the boarders of Scotland." She sighed. "And that's it."  
  
"What?" Harry boomed across the room. "How can that be it? Didn't he come after you try to get you back?" she paled. "Not that I know of Mr. Potter." That's where it happened the great walls of professor McGonagall smashed. A stray tear ran down her cheek.  
  
Later  
  
"Hermione." Ginny muttered to her room mate in the morning. "I need to tell you something. I can't keep it a secret anymore!" The tired Hermione rolled over to face the younger girl. "Ginny what is it?"  
  
A purple book was shoved into her hands. "I wrote down everything Tom said to me in this! I was going to burn it but I forgot. I just remembered that he used to talk about McGonagall real important things to read it." Hermione opened the book and skimmed through till she saw Minerva's name.  
  
14th December 1992  
  
Hello tom.  
  
Good evening Ginny how was your day?  
  
Great professor McGonagall gave me 80 points for my house!  
  
Professor McGonagall? Minerva. Are you in love Ginny.  
  
Yes with Harry I've told you that are you in love with professor McGonagall?  
  
Yes.  
  
She's the best witch of out time tom. Did you write songs about her like you did me?  
  
Yes would you like to see them?  
  
Hermione looked up to Ginny. "We can't see it can we?" The small girl nodded. They where transported a whirl of colours surrounded them.  
  
They where out side Hogwarts, the sun was setting over the lake leaving a blood red stain on the two people under a tree. A young girl sat there her dark black silky hair running down her back. A boy sat in front of her with a guitar he sang to her.  
  
The darkness of the walls equal to my ever lasting pain. As the knees slowly came up to meet the chest, Tears flowered staining the cheeks and duvet.  
  
It's my fault, If I could have just tried, I may not have helped, And still the tears flow down, To meet the belief of blood beyond the door.  
  
The smoothness and comfort of the soft duvet is all I had to seize these tears? The walls how far apart they may stand, but why did I feel as through the walls had moved to claim me.  
  
To meet the belief of blood beyond the door. The sweet sense of incense that come in from the room opposite mine it looked like mist in the pitch black, Of the night.  
  
After that time of history, The bed moved many places but the tears where stained into it forever. It was my only memory of you.  
  
To get a new bed would have been wrong as that one was my only comfort. As the knees slowly came up to meet the chest, Tears flowered staining the cheeks and duvet.  
  
The loss of that loved one made me what I am, Made me strong but at the same time weak. As his face now again has started to haunt my dreams and memories.  
  
For the second time my bed is again my only comfort You came back my love; my Minerva the belief of blood beyond the door id gone is gone only the prophecies about you could destroy me.  
  
She threw her arms round his neck and slammed her lips to his. "Oh Tom it's beautiful what did you mean by prophecies though?" "Have you not heard the prophecies about you?" "No tell me!"  
  
The vision faded. Hermione and Ginny where spat out. Hermione went back to the diary.  
  
What was the prophecies tom?  
  
Are you sure you want to know?  
  
Yes  
  
Very well.  
  
(A/n what do you think. Minerva turned rather OOC here but don't worry she will be fixed, in the next chapter if you would like one the prophecies are told and a letter from Voldie? Also lots of AD/MM.  
  
Reviews are welcome! Oh yeah and the Tom Riddle song was a poem that I wrote in English I just added bits and pieces, and this hole piece of work is based on a poem I wrote so her it is!)  
  
"All these feelings I can't deal with,  
  
Times I cut across my wrists,  
  
Still I wait with the knife,  
  
As my only friend,  
  
The pain is my only resolution,  
  
My only form of reality,  
  
The pain comforts me,  
  
It shows me I'm still alive,  
  
The blood is only black,  
  
Hiding from the light,  
  
I smile in the dark,  
  
My laughter fills the air,  
  
The tears are so with held,  
  
The fate behind the fear,  
  
I'm hungry because I starve,  
  
Holding back the tears,  
  
The power of the mind,  
  
The darkness of the dark,  
  
The queer is not so queer,  
  
The strange is not so strange,  
  
The tears are not so strong,  
  
The deadest of the dead,  
  
The cold is not so cold,  
  
The light can only burn,  
  
There's nothing special here,  
  
Just fate behind the fear,  
  
If my heart is black,  
  
Then how do I live?  
  
I'm hungry because I starve,  
  
Holding back the tears,  
  
Just fate behind the fear,  
  
God was never there my help up this poor soul,  
  
No one picked me up after I bleed,  
  
I was sent an angel,  
  
Times changed,  
  
The angel from the prophecies,  
  
The knife is gone,  
  
Your sweet lips stab me instead,  
  
My thirst for your love,  
  
My lust for your mind,  
  
It is you out of the prophecies my love,  
  
Only you. 


	3. Here I lye

(A/n Hi, I have an explanation to do my punctuation has been awful lately, because my data reader Sharon has moved to Spain. :( Her house has loads to be done to it so she will be busy, SO PEOPLE I NEED A NEW DETA READER!)  
  
Albus lye in his bed staring at the dirty ceiling. He couldn't believe Minerva had never told him; after all they had been through together. If he could get his hands on Voldemort's slimy little body he would kill him, ring his neck poke out his eyes torture him.  
  
This was very unlike Albus Dumbledore but no one had the right to touch Dumbledore's women everyone knew that. Well everyone who knew they where together, and that with was few. He heard the faint click of the door as it opened it let in a silver stream of moon light from the window opposite his door. The room went back to black.  
  
He felt the slim figure slid into the bed and press up against him. He felt her wet kisses slid down his neck. "Minerva, what are you doing here?" He felt her smile into his neck then pick her head back up. "I didn't want to be alone, I missed you. And it is tonight after all." He looked at her in wonder. "What's so special about tonight?" "Albus. today is the day we became an item." "Oh Merlin I'm sorry Minerva." "No it doesn't matter."  
  
He suddenly pulled her figure on top of him. "No Minerva it does matter I'm so sorry, it's just I had stuff much on my mind. I can't believe you never told me!" "I'm sorry."  
  
Her lips pressed against his in search for his forgiveness. He could feel her tongue lightly prodding his lips looking for an entrance he didn't allow one. He could feel her hands lightly caress his sides and her mouth move against his unresponsive lips. She broke away from him.  
  
"Albus?" "I'm sorry Minerva I can't." "Why not?" "There is something you're not telling me Minerva!" "Like what." "Like this letter your owl delivered an hour ago." "Letter?" Minerva sounded shocked but secretly she knew what it was. "I opened it; I thought it was for me Minerva. I'm glad I opened it, it's from him."  
  
Minerva's mouth dropped as if she was going to say something but no words came out. Albus waited, "What does it say?"  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
The two girls sat in the cold room. "Ginny do you know what this means?" "No what's he on about Hermione, was he making it up trying to confuse me." "I don't think so; we need to talk to McGonagall. Do you know where she is?" "Probably in her room or she's left." "Ok let's go then."  
  
Hermione stood up. She tip toed across the wooden floor. She opened the door careful not to make it squeak. They tip toed down the landing every noise seemed loader, the squeak of the floor under there feet, the beating of there hearts in there chest.  
  
They came to the door of the room Minerva was staying in. They knocked on the door there was no answer's but they could here the pain filled whimpers coming from in the room. Hermione tried the door it was open she opened it enough for her and Ginny to see in, but what they saw was not what they had expected.  
  
Inside Minerva was on her bed her white silk nightgown wrapped tightly around her body. Her head buried into her pillow her arms where wrapped around her waist holding herself. She was crying she was absolute hysteric. She rolled over her head now facing the ceiling. Tears stained her flushed cheek she pulled her knees up to meet her chest and sobbed into her knees.  
  
Ginny dared herself suddenly. She walked over to her teacher she sat next to her. Minerva looked up at her, her eyes red. Ginny put her arms around her favourite professor who suddenly grabbed her and cried into her shoulder. Hermione came over and rubbed her back softly.  
  
"Professor?" She sniffed lightly then stopped crying. "Oh girls what must you think of me?" "What's wrong Professor?" "It's Albus I got a letter today he. he doesn't trust me." She whipped away her tears hiding, them away deep inside of her where she kept everything all her pain her sorrow her hate and her love. "Well girl's what did you want?" They both looked down rather embarrassed. "Professor Tom, Tom Riddle he told me something about you." The voice of Ginny suddenly went very squeaky. "He told me about the prophecies." "Oh god no!" "Are they true?" "Which one did he tell you?"  
  
Hermione stepped in here. "He said.  
  
One born of dragon,  
  
Bearing darkness and light,  
  
Shall rise to the heavens,  
  
Over the still land,  
  
Bathing the moon in eternal light,  
  
She brings a promise,  
  
To mother earth with bounty,  
  
And grace, (That was from FF6 people)  
  
The namesake,  
  
Of the goddess of wisdom and understanding,  
  
She will make the dark lord fall,  
  
To her feet,  
  
In love and despair,  
  
For she the lion all over,  
  
The Leo and the heir,  
  
Of Gryffindor.  
  
Deaths will some swiftly to,  
  
Those who defy her,  
  
Lioness and mistress,  
  
Of pain and love,  
  
His blow will fall fast,  
  
His fist's strike her hard,  
  
She will hold him as he falls,  
  
Her blade running through him.  
  
(God this was short the next chapter will be longer! Just again thank you to my reviewer's, and I need a data reader if anyone's interested! Thank you for taking up the precious minutes of your time to read this!)  
  
Nerweniel- Glad you like it, I do really like your fic. Celebloth Is My Name which I have not got to reviewing yet but I will!  
  
Liz O'Brien- Quite honered to be reviewed by you, love your work. :)  
  
mavidian- I will never again call my story pitiful as you scared me a lot!  
  
Elayne Sedai- so short but so meaning full *Evil laughter*  
  
dc-babe!!! ;)- Minerva fics for all!  
  
Crookykanks- Thank you I know punctuation will be fixed.  
  
Palanfanaiel- I like to call him Tom also! Also you demanded this chapter and the last chapter or the last chapter so I had to write it.  
  
chicken13- Thank you! 


	4. There is nothing you can do to stop me

(I know I promised a longer chapter but this had to come out and I think it's more powerful on its own!)  
  
My beloved Minerva,  
So many years it has been since you would speck my name. I heard the way it rolled of your tongue yesterday. I heard the whole thing. I did not send Malfoy and his gang to touch you, I have only just found out my love. They will be punished. I miss you, I miss waking up to your slender figure in my arms, I miss our love, our lust, and our moon lit walks.  
  
The death eater's. some of them laugh at me behind my back now. I feel betrayed, enslaved even; our love is the only thing that can save me. It pains me to know you are now in the bed and arms of that fool Dumbledore. What is he to you Minerva? An escape vessel? A knight in shinning armour?  
  
I'm the one that keeps your life so free Minerva. With out me you would brake down and so would I. That is why I need you back. I am weak Minerva oh so weak. I need you! I like this game that you're making me play Minerva, I love it but I grow tried now. I wish it to stop as I have realised now I can never win. This makes me feel like I have failed. These darkened thoughts, there not mine they possess me make me do things I would never do. I am alone now and I am the only one to blame. I have fallen into the vast abyss of darkness and pain. I need you here to pick me up.  
  
I love you.  
  
For always  
  
Voldemort  
  
You're Tom  
  
P.S  
  
I will come for you Minerva, please run with me.  
  
Dear Tom Riddle,  
I was not going to write back when I revived your pitiful excuse of a letter but I have for reasons that are beyond me. Why can't you back down? What game are you talking about? Are you saying I ran away from you to play hard to get? I don't think so. I am alive Tom and I hate you. Where love once stood there now stands a bitter coldness inside. I am not going to run from you anymore. My heart screams with pride from the fact that I left you. I used to cry. now I wipe away my tears. I would never join you what was I last time Tom? I was your mistress you used me for your pleasure. What do you expect me to say Tom? Lead the way; make every one I ever lost pay? No I will not be there for your problems, when you're never there for me! You do not love me. You once loved me and I loved you back but that part of you died was murdered by what you are now. How dare you call Albus a fool, he is twice the man you will ever be. I have so many tears when I think about you Tom. So many tears even the blind could see. I was burned in the fire Tom, I've died so many times I'm only just coming to life! You will not come and clime me you do not own me.  
  
I will never be yours  
  
Minerva McGonagall  
  
Order of Merlin 3rd class.  
  
(The next chapter WILL be longer. I promise this time my finger's are not crossed. It's a bit hard to up date now as teachers will not leave me to write my little fanfic's HOMEWORK. I am writing another story now for English which is very long so far VERY LONG. But I will not forget about my reviewer's! There will be more.) 


	5. The fine line between love and hate

(A/n I was in a bad mood when I wrote this so it might not be that good.)  
  
The day was brimming with a brooding misery. Times where changing, they all felt it. Minerva sat at the dinning table, they all sat in silence. Minerva avoided eye contact with Albus. She had the feeling he wasn't going to trust her completely for a very long time. She sat back the order just looked at her. Was it fear in there eyes or hate. Minerva just suddenly spoke as if out of no where.  
  
"You wanted to know." She muttered her voice horse from lack of use. "You never told me Minerva why?" Albus asked. It was the first time in weeks he had even talked to her. "When would I have told you Albus just one day get up and say? Oh darling by the way I was in Voldemort's inner circle. I don't think so."  
  
"How dare he touch you." Albus muttered letting his anger out for the first time in weeks. "He's coming you know." "What?" The same word rounded the many mouths in the room. "He knows we're here, there's a spy." Eyes shot around the room Accusingly.  
  
Minerva entered the room of Albus Dumbledore that night. He sat alone in his bed looking cold and sad. She walked over to him. She sat down and put her pale arms around him. "I love you." He took her hands in his. "I know, and I you I just wish you would open up to me more."  
  
"Can I stay with you tonight my bed is so cold." He nodded they both sensed the discomfort in the room. "I'm scared Albus. I keep having these dreams he keeps trying to talk to me." They lye in each other's arms that night. Words of love and protection muttered into the darkness, as they kissed. Then they slept. Albus was in the dreamless state he always got into when angry or hurt.  
  
Minerva on the other hand had dreams. Dreams that no one could even imagine.  
  
She lye on a bed of steel. Cold eyes bored into her. But his where the strongest. Those horrible snake red eyes. She screamed as he walked over to her. Trying to escape she was tied up. He came up to her. His lips pressed to ever single inch of her body. She cried out in pain. When he came up and muttered into her ear. "My love, join me come with me. I will spare them if you do.  
  
The old coot Albus I will spare him too. There was an image it was Albus and her friends hold a wand point. She cried out as Molly was shot. Then Poppy. Little did Minerva know as she was dreaming this Molly and Poppy where safe in there beds. "Minerva you hear them screaming, you know I will Minerva, kill them all maybe. Come with me I will spare them. Minerva join me!"  
  
Albus and Harry where lined up about to be hit by the killing curse when she yelled. "OK, I will. I'll join you please just don't hurt them." Minerva's body disappeared from the hands of Albus Dumbledore that night.  
  
(A/n I was in a really bad mood when I wrote this. So if it's not that good please don't yell at me but I wanted to kill everything today! Also this chapter was just screen setting for the next chapter. Review's would be nice!) 


	6. Love to the one's we must hate, Life to ...

(A/n I love my reviewer's, I do not own anything! This chapter will most likely send millions of you trying to kill me but hey.)  
  
Albus woke up in the depths of night. His eyes could not adjust to the blackness. Was he falling? No he couldn't be he was still in his bed. He was in bed, he hoped but if he was in bed where was Minerva. He reached over and turned on the bed side light. The blanket's where disturbed. Minerva was no-where in sight. He didn't panic after all there was most likely a good reason as to why she wasn't there. She could be in the toilet or getting a snack. He lied down. Some how he must have drifted back to sleep as he was awoken by the sound of Molly in the kitchen.  
  
He rolled out of his bed. Minerva was still no where in sight. He pulled on his dressing gown and walked down the stairs. He was greeted by the cheery faces of the order.  
  
"Good morning Albus." They all greeted him nicely including Harry.  
  
"Albus have you seen Minerva this morning?" Molly asked softly.  
  
"No, Why?" His displeasure of waking up to not find her. Suddenly turned into panic.  
  
"Well I sent Hermione and Ginny up to see if she wanted any breakfast, and she wasn't there."  
  
"Maybe she's left?" Lupin muttered from the corner of the room.  
  
"Her stuff is still in her room." Hermione muttered.  
  
"That's very unlike Minerva." Albus said more to him self then anyone else.  
  
"She could have gone for a walk or something."  
  
"She was missing last night." Albus muttered then he suddenly noticed what he said and looked away from them all.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"That doesn't matter I think we need to find her. I think she's in trouble."  
  
"Use the fire that should work!"  
  
Albus slowly walked over to the fire. He threw in the powder and bent down he muttered Minerva's name. A picture came up. She was there lying on a bed made of green satin.  
  
~:~  
  
Minerva moaned softly as she came back from the land of unconsciousness. She didn't notice the order watching her from the fire place. She looked around, the room was beautiful. Richly carved wood and fabric, fabric in green and silver. She touched her head lightly and felt the small bit of blood oozing from it. She looked around for her wand she couldn't find it. She suddenly relished where she was. She looked around franticly. There was a knife on the side table. She picked it up and held it close to her. She stepped of the bed and waited. The door open she flew at the hooded figure knife in hand. He held her at arms length as she tried with all her might to lass out at him with the rather blunt knife.  
  
He snatched it from her and threw her body onto the floor. She cried softly angry at her self for not even touching him. The figure came closer to her he bent down next to her. She turned her back to him. He pulled her back round.  
  
"Minerva?"  
  
"I hate you!" She spat at her former love.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I couldn't give a damn!"  
  
Her body was levitated onto the bed and put into the full body curse. This brought back memories. He pinned her body down with his. His lips meeting hers only to have his tongue attacked with her teeth. He pulled back.  
  
"Love me Minerva just love me and I will give you everything you want."  
  
"I HATE YOU!" She screamed at him.  
  
"You don't I know how you feel about me the love we share."  
  
At that minute Albus almost rushed through the fire but was held back by Lupin and Moddy.  
  
"You're crazy, mental."  
  
She managed to mutter as he pinned her down again. He brought out the potion. She didn't take it she spat it out in fact. He threw it down her neck and made her drink it. Even as her legs kicked at him.  
  
Rustling the cover's under her. It started to work instantly. She stopped fighting him and relaxed. Her eyes changed. Where before they looked scared. They now looked confidant and alive.  
  
"Minerva?"  
  
"Yes my love." She answered sweetly softly. He smiled at her.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"Better now you're here." She answered there was no lie in her voice.  
  
"Albus Dumbledore?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your fiancée?" She smiled at him.  
  
"Tom what are you talking about. You're the only person for me."  
  
He smiled a wicked smile he knew Dumbledore was watching and this was killing him. Tom's lover was finally his again. Her lips meet his as her kiss seemingly helped his tiny heart grow stronger. His face suddenly changed its colour came back. Her tongue touched with his. As her arms came up and caressed his now mussel forming arm's.  
  
The Order looked at the scene in front of them with fear. But none more then Albus and Harry.  
  
Voldemort's power was returning.  
  
(Oh Cliff hanger well a bit of one. Thank you to all me reviewer's. The criticism form some of you is very helpful :) Please review if you like this and review if you hate it. More chapters will come if I get some reviews. Don't review if you don't want another chapter!) 


	7. can't love can't hate can't lie where is...

(This chapter is really just feeling's and more getting ready for the next chapter . again."  
  
Minerva McGonagall awoke, in the darkest hours of the night. Moon on light shone through the open window. It bathed the top of her naked form in a metallic glow. The cover's where soft and silky around her. The room was heated nicely. Her love lied in front of her. He played with her hair softly. Twiddling it in and out of his now colour filled fingers.  
  
"Did I wake you?" He muttered softly.  
  
"No." She buried her head in the crook of his neck. His scent was heavenly and intoxicating. She felt his hands lightly explore her body. She muttered into his ear softly.  
  
"Last night was fantastic my love." She felt his hand's travel lower down her all ready heated body. She purred slightly in his ear.  
  
"Are you glad your back?"  
  
"I won't leave again, if that's what you mean."  
  
Hours passed they seemed like minutes. The sun was rising leaving a blood red stain over the room. Minerva combed her fingers through his brown hair softly.  
  
"Someone told me something once about you Tom." He knelt up and looked at her. His once gruesome and grey body, now beautiful. Still a bit pale but human.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Dumbledore." He shuddered violently at the name. His shudder sent shiver's down her spine.  
  
"Don't say that name!" He spat out violently.  
  
"Sorry." He saw the look of pain that came in her eyes was it pain. He hadn't seen a look like that for years. He dreamed about it though. The pain running through her. He lent over and kissed her lightly. Reassuring her.  
  
"He said that you didn't understand love that you feared it. He lied." She lent over there kisses became deeper and deeper. None of Voldemort's follower's saw him that day.  
  
Albus Dumbledore sat alone at Grimmauld place. Molly had taken the children out to clam there nerves everyone else was away. He cried top himself. How could this happen his love his Minerva. He swore to protect her and now he had her. Tears streamed down his face. The idea of Minerva even touching him sickened Albus. He cried small manly tears but they where still tears. The children and Molly noticed them as they walked in he didn't hear them come in. He pulled out the picture form his pocket.  
  
Must have been a year back when he took this. Minerva had got a camera for her birthday and she would tease Albus endlessly by taking picture's of him when he was asleep. So he had snuck up on her when she was in the bath there wasn't anything revealing, from the picture the bubble bath sorted that. She hadn't told him to get lost or anything that day she just smiled and let him take the picture as she laughed.  
  
He stared at it his Minerva gone. More tears fell down his worn cheeks.  
  
"Sir?" The small voices of Ron, Hermione and Harry came form the door way he looked up at them. He wiped his face to get rid of the tears but they had already been seen.  
  
"Sir are you alright?"  
  
"Yes, yes I'm just worried about Professor McGonagall and her well being after all HE has her."  
  
"We're all worried about her to sir."  
  
"I want to be able to do something Mrs. Granger, but I can't she doesn't even remember who I am. She thinks I'm her enemy."  
  
"Sir that's just the potion she doesn't really think that!"  
  
Molly walked slowly into the room she was holding a letter made of almost destroyed parchment she gave it to Dumbledore. "It's from Minerva."  
  
(Very short chapter the next will be longer. Thank you to you lovely reviewers sigh you brightened up my day! Plz review! Next chapter will come soon.) 


	8. All the lies you told me the hurt the bl...

(A/n someone asked me a question about me being English. I'm sorry I can't remember who! Yes I am English spelling is my one great weakness. My data reader is crap. I have fired him and I am looking for a new one.)  
  
My dearest Albus,  
  
I am writing this from the pit's of hell. I guess you know all ready. I don't know what he will do to me Albus but I am scared. I have not been scared for so long my love. I don't think he will hurt me. I think he will change me put me under the imperius curse or something. I love you my Albus. No matter what I say when I am with him. Don't try to come after me Albus. It's too dangerous. Carry on with out me. I will get away. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise Albus? Don't write back it will be dangerous. I wish I could tell you the plan's I am hearing. But I fear someone is watching me. I fell there eye's on me. Carry on as planed my love.  
  
Yours always  
  
Minerva  
  
He screwed the letter up in his hands. Anger took over him.  
  
"Albus?" Molly's face came into his view. She was trying her best to smile.  
  
"Molly, she's gone we lost her. She fell behind. She told us to carry on. Should we Molly carry on like nothing has happened?"  
  
"I."  
  
"Let him use her as his. mistress, for his pleasure."  
  
"You want to go after her?"  
  
"I don't know what I want." He sounded like a small boy lost and alone.  
  
"Go after her." Molly whispered. He looked up at her. His blue eye's boring into hers.  
  
"You will not rest till she is safe. Go after her but don't go alone."  
  
"Molly. Thank you." He took her hand in his and kissed it softly.  
  
Harry looked at him.  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"It's too dangerous Harry."  
  
"But I want to help McGonagall." Hermione and Ron nodded to show how much they wanted to help also.  
  
"It will be ugly." Albus muttered.  
  
"We don't care." Ron cried he was close to tears how could he expect them to stay behind. When there beloved teacher was out there alone.  
  
"Ok but when we do get to his castle." Albus started Molly interrupted him.  
  
"Castle how do you know it's a castle?"  
  
"Minerva left the address for us. She said not to go after her but it may help to know where he is."  
  
"Minerva isn't stupid she would know you would go after her."  
  
"Then maybe she wants to be saved. As I was saying you can come with me to the castle but from there I don't want you to interfere ok?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
~:~  
  
Voldemort sat in the main chamber. His Minerva sat on his lap caressing his sides softly. The room was huge, rich wood work and seats of gold stone. A lush red carpet ran from the oak doors to the throne of gold. Lucius stood at the door waiting for his master approval to come in. Minerva's lips met his softly. Her long black hair was spilling down her back. She wore a rich dress of black imbedded with silver studs. She smelt like the L.D. Braithwaite rose on a cold morning when spring was just about to wake. She was beautiful and younger then ever before.  
  
"Come Lucius see the new form of your master." Lucius entered his mouth all most fell to the floor. Voldemort pushed against Minerva's stomach softly. She took the note and climbed of him. She stood by his side like any queen should.  
  
"Master you have grown young how." He was smiling this meant power.  
  
"A woman's lust and love can do wonders. Isn't that right Minerva?"  
  
"Yes my king." Minerva muttered softly smiling at him.  
  
Peter walked out of the shadows silently. He walked over to Minerva he was shorter then her. He grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Come Mistress, there is much to be done." She cast a last smile at her dark lord.  
  
"Yes lead the way Peter."  
  
(A/n Sigh review's are welcome!) 


	9. From the darkness of hell i call to you ...

(A/n Right this is what has happened so far. we have found out. Minerva was in a relationship with Voldie she ran away. Minerva and Albus are engaged. Voldie kidnaps Minerva and shoves a potion down her neck that turns her evil. Albus has got a letter from Minerva telling him to save her in Cornwall. Now Harry, Ron, Hermione and Albus must go and save her.  
  
All right lets get another thing sorted. This is my fic I own the rules. Minerva is 37. I know she is probably older but she is 37 now. Voldie is 38. Peter is 31 and Albus is 104. I do not own anything. No Harry Potter is not mine. Also I do not own Merlin the enchanter or Nimue the lady of the lake they belong to who ever wrote the legend of kind Arthur.)  
  
It was raining on the boarder's of Scotland. Albus and the three children where shocked to the bone. Still they carried on walking down and down it would take them weeks to get to Cornwall.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Just stop right there. Please call me Albus."  
  
"Ok Albus, why do we have to walk?"  
  
"Floo network is down and there are no port key's due to the war."  
  
"Oh." They walked on through hills and hills through thunder and rain.  
  
"Professor, Albus this place looks awfully familiar." Albus looked around and smiled happily.  
  
"Yes you have probably seen it in books."  
  
"Where Merlin fought Morgan la Fay?" Hermione said her knowledge of Merlin was very wide.  
  
"Yes. But also where Merlin first called upon the dragon, and where he met his love Nimue."  
  
"Nimue? I have never heard anything of Merlin's love." Hermione said.  
  
"Many haven't but that part of the story we know is true." They walked as they talked.  
  
"What was Nimue like?" Harry asked.  
  
"Nimue? She was the lady of the lake. A beautiful woman it was said. Powers in her that no-one had ever seen. Merlin took her as a pupil to train her in magic. To teach her the ways of the dragon. Merlin was old, century's old he had been around since the dawn of time.  
  
Nimue was young. It is said she had long waist length black hair and stunning grey eyes. Like Minerva." Albus muttered the last bit to him self. Amazing the similarities of their relationship to the relationship of Merlin and Nimue.  
  
"She fell in love with Merlin and he loved her back. They became an item. Of course an old man taking a young woman to his bed. Probably didn't go down to well. He trained her. How she wept when Morgan trapped Merlin in the crystal caves. They don't put Nimue in many of the king Arthur tales not as his lover anyway. There was always a fine line between love and hate when it came down to her. And that is hard to write. If you read the proper King Arthur story's like Lailoken or Merlin's madness. She's in them a lot."  
  
The children where fascinated by the story.  
  
"What happened to her?" Ron asked rather shyly.  
  
"She never got over Merlin but as you know Merlin was not dead. It is said the Arthur suddenly started to believe Nimue killed Merlin. She had become Arthur's friend and guardian when Merlin left. It is said that Merlin came crashing into Arthur's Chambers. When King Arthur turned on Nimue and blamed her for Merlin's death. He ran his sword through her chest as Merlin entered. Of course your best friend killing the only woman you loved would have hurt. Nimue died in Merlin's arms."  
  
"That's beautiful." Hermione said softly. "She loved him so much that she tried to stay by the king's side for him even when the king wanted her dead."  
  
"Yes a wonderful thing love. But also dangerous and painful." They walked on in silence.  
  
(A/n short chapter? Yes I know this whole chapter was basically to show the similarities to Minerva and Albus to Nimue and Merlin. Yes I am high on sugar so please leave a review.) 


	10. Love of the damned

(I'm sorry my reviewer's I had really, really bad writer's block for this story but I got on with it quickly. I didn't want Darlingheart to cry. Also there is some stuff in here that may confuse you just a little bit. Make sure u read my time line from the last chapter.)  
  
Minerva slid into the bed next to her lord. His body was cold when she touched his arm. Her hands where so pale.  
  
"My Love...Tom?"  
  
"Don't call me that Minerva." She looked at him.  
  
"What's wrong?" She asked softly.  
  
"I fell something Minerva something strange. From over the mountains I fell something calling to me." She sighed and snuggled up closer to him. Her body heat running into him.  
  
"Don't worry my love Dumbledore will be in Cornwall soon and you can go over there and destroy him."  
  
"That fake letter of yours was a wonderful idea Minerva."  
  
"I thought so too. You will destroy him I know you will."  
  
"I hope so Minerva that fool has been around to long." "When you do the Mudblood's will be yours we can kill them all, together."  
  
His hand came up and caressed her cheek softly she lent into it.  
  
"My Minerva what would I do without you? Yes the Mudblood's will go and yes I will let you help."  
  
"How long it has been since I felt and saw blood. How long it has been since heard the scream of a filthy Mudblood." His hand didn't move from her face.  
  
"I know my love they will be gone soon." She lent in towards him her face inches from his. Her eyes, there was something about her eyes as he looked into them. He saw power, power stronger then his could ever be. Now he was scared. He saw his own death in her eyes. He saw her death also. He dropped his eyes from hers as she pulled her body on top of his.  
  
"My love." She hissed. "The world is ours for the taking."  
  
"I know Minerva. My dear Minerva one day you will have what is rightfully yours."  
  
"As will you. Nothing can stop us we can control all." She bent down her cold lips meeting his freezing ones. She broke away after a few seconds. She ran her fingers over his lips.  
  
"So cold how did you become so cold?" He didn't answer her.  
  
His lips meet hers again how perfectly well they fitted together. His lips opened this time giving her entrance she sighed and explored his mouth. His hands stoked her back softly. His name was whispered in the room becoming loader and loader. It was a soft voice female almost metallic. I sounded so familiar. Minerva pulled away from his lips and smiled playfully at him but he didn't notice. He wasn't looking at her. The voice was becoming loader.  
  
"Tom?" Minerva said he saw her lips move but he didn't hear her. He could only hear the voice. He pushed Minerva of him and climbed out of the bed. He walked to the window the voice was so load now, yet it seemed Minerva could not hear it. He walked to the window and opened it the voice was deafening. Minerva walked up to him her hand resting on his.  
  
"Tom." She said softly the voice stopped he heard her soft voice this time the other voice had disappeared.  
  
"My love what's wrong?" She muttered. He stared out the window. It was a nice night. The sky was black and covered in stars. The moon starched out from behind the cliffs leaving its mark on the lake. The wind rustled the leaves softly. A mutter sounded through the air. So soft no human could have made it out.  
  
"Didn't you hear it Minerva?"  
  
"Hear what?" Her face showed concern her eyes told a different story.  
  
"That voice..." How scared he felt how he was shaking. She slid her arms around his waist softly. Her eyes where clam now not like they had been a few minutes ago.  
  
"You're tired my lord. Come to bed with me and sleep." She whispered softly into his ear.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Peter entered slowly.  
  
"Master there is some business I think you should attend to."  
  
His face was a look of pure fear. He was in his master's bed room of course he was scared. Voldemort left the window open. He walked to his cupboard and started to get dress. He aimed the mirror so he could see Peter. Minerva was now sitting on the bed. Her nightgown was extremely tight around her body. As Voldemort had requested. Peter stared at her his eyes moved down her body taking in her image. Pausing at each curve of her skinny body.  
  
Voldemort turned. He walked over to Peter. He whispered to him.  
  
"You want to touch her don't you?" He hissed. Peter looked shocked but he was really just terrified of what would happen to him if he told the truth.  
  
"No...I... was only." He stammered.  
  
"Don't worry Peter I won't hurt you for wanting her. What if I let you touch her, would you like that?"  
  
"I...I." He stammered.  
  
"What If I let her made her moan underneath you, what if I let her look at you and fulfil your needs. What if I let her purr in pleasure into your ear? You would like that wouldn't you?" Peter looked at him.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you want me to ask her?" Peter looked at him.  
  
"If your good to me if you stay with me and help me to night I may think about it Peter." Peter looked at Minerva then back to him. Was this just a bribe or did he mean it.  
  
"Would you master?"  
  
"If you assist me tonight I will ask her tomorrow if you have been really good I will make her say yes."  
  
"Thank you master." He squeaked looking like the rat he was.  
  
"Go now I will meet you down there." Peter slid back into the shadows.  
  
"Where are you going?" Minerva asked.  
  
"It is better you do not know."  
  
"Do you want me to do anything?"  
  
"No, just don't go wondering the castle many of those scum would love to see you at night." She nodded.  
  
"Will you lock the door please?" He nodded the door was locked as he left.  
  
(REVIEW PLEASE!) 


	11. darkness has come over me

(A/n thank you all for the beautiful review's brightened up my day!)  
  
The trio and Albus boarded the train that would take them to the distant  
land of Cornwall. It was a cold bitter day. They sat in a small carriage  
together.  
"Do you think she's ok?" Ron asked.  
"She's fine." Dumbledore muttered. "But she isn't herself."  
  
"What will he make her do?" Harry asked. His experiences with lord  
Voldemort had never lead him to expect something like this.  
"He won't do anything to her. He gave her the potion what she does now is  
her choice but it will most likely be evil."  
  
"So she will stay with him as his queen will she murder people?"  
"She probably already has. I don't know if she will stay with him. But  
that's not what I fear. I don't fear her being his queen. We should be able  
to get her back if she's just that. But if she deifies him gets her own  
ideas. If she becomes big and relishes she doesn't need Tom. She will leave  
him maybe even kill him. And we will have a dark queen on our hands. That  
is what I fear."  
  
"I say we kill him." Lucius said as he talked to his master.  
"No death is too good for him." Minerva answered.  
"Minerva... there is nothing worse then death."  
"Yes there is. We could make his entire family scream. Be murdered in front  
of him.  
  
We can torture him till he wishes he would die. But we will not let him.  
Eventually he would curl up into a small ball and beg for death. He will  
die years later in despair. That is what we should do." Minerva said all  
this rather slyly. She was sitting on the arm of Tom's chair. Tom's arms  
around her waist.  
  
"It's worth a try. She has never leaded us wrong so far." Lucius said.  
"Of course it's worth a try." Minerva snapped. "Why wouldn't it be? You see  
everyone's other suggestions you don't ask why or how. How dare you do it  
to mine."  
  
All three of Malfoy's looked shocked. Draco found it very strange to see  
his teacher in the arm's of his master. Very strange indeed.  
"You should learn not to defy me Malfoy. You don't want to be getting on my  
bad side now do you?"  
  
"No my lady." He looked at her. He respected her before but only because  
she was his master's toy. He had to respect her. But now...now that he saw  
the power she was being given. She was powerful. She was dangerous. Maybe  
even more so then Lord Voldemort. He now feared her. He knew he must stay  
on her good side. She had changed. She was evil.  
  
He had seen many different sides of her. When she was alone with her  
master. She was so sweet so seductive. When she was alone with the death  
eaters. She was cold and showed no emotion. And now she was... powerful and  
knew what it was she wanted. He had seen her murder whole families.  
  
Some with knifes. Some with guns. Some with horrible spells. But never with  
the killing curse. She said the killing curse was too good for them. It  
should only be used on those. Who need or want to die. But have been  
faithful. It should be used as a suicide solution. It was too good for  
those disgusting mud-bloods. And for some strange reason now that he saw.  
The evil running through Minerva's veins. He pitied those poor mud-bloods.  
  
(Hope you all like:) Reviews would be nice in fact. Reviews would be  
fantastic!) 


	12. How can you say that!

(Thank you all for the great review's :))  
  
Minerva and tom watched through the small glass ball. As the train carrying  
Albus and the children neared to Cornwall.  
"Their falling right in to our trap my love." Tom muttered.  
"He is blind. My lord. He can not see he's falling into a hole. Shell we go  
now?"  
"Yes. I want to see the look on his face."  
  
The four of them walked silently.  
"It should be here." Hermione muttered. "Where is it?"  
"Did you really expect there to be a castle Mrs Granger?" Albus asked.  
"This is a trap. But it was the only way to get near Voldemort." Albus  
sighed. As he said this the ground lightly lifted up the anti magic barrier  
surrounding them. They were pinned in standing up positions.  
  
Voldemort walked over the moors followed by death eaters. He was wearing a  
green clock. Minerva stood to his right. She wore a dark dress of blood  
red. It trailed on the floor around her. The dip at the front was  
dangerously low. Her long hair scattered about her back. This was  
definitely not the Minerva they knew. She looked powerful and her eyes were  
filled with a confidence that no-one should posses. She was... beautiful.  
  
The death eaters came to a stop as the two lovers stepped forward. Walking  
over to the bit of land the wizard's and witch were stood in.  
"Children?" Voldemort asked Minerva softly.  
"The boys a Weasley. The girl a mud-blood." Hermione winced ever so  
slightly at the blunt term.  
"This is the best you can do Dumbledore? A lucky child, a mud-blood and a  
Weasley. Interesting." Minerva smiled wickedly.  
"What did you think you would gain by coming here?" She asked.  
"To save you from. That... that monster." Albus snapped. Her eyes widened.  
"To save me? You? You never came to save me before." She said.  
"You're a pervert Dumbledore. An old pervert. Who knows to much for his own  
good. If any one saved me. It was Tom." Voldemort smiled at this.  
"How can you say that Minerva? You loved me. I know you did." Minerva's  
face darkened.  
"No...Albus I never loved you. I screwed you to keep my job. I screwed you so  
I could have a place to stay. You ruined my life and I had no where else to  
go."  
"What do you mean ruined your life? I gave you a place to stay when you had  
none."  
"But why was I homeless Albus? I was homeless because of you." Dumbledore  
looked shocked.  
"Don't play dumb Dumbledore." Voldemort snapped.  
"You murdered Minerva's father. You made her homeless. You burnt down the  
McGonagall mansion."  
"I did no such thing." Albus said stiffly. Minerva shook her head.  
"How can you deny such a thing? You murdered my father and everyone but me  
loved you for it." Dumbledore shook his head again.  
"Do I have to spell it out Albus? Lord Grindlewald was my father. And you  
murdered him taking my house with him."  
"Grindlewald, your father? No, Tom what sort of images have you been  
putting in her head?"  
  
"Images? No images this time. You never noticed that your beautiful Minerva  
was destined to follow her father? Was destined to have that power?" Tom  
asked.  
Minerva smiled maliciously; she turned to the death eaters and told them to  
take them away softly. Before turning and walking away from the people she  
at one point loved the most.  
  
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You know u want to! 


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